he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
