Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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