I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
