Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
