Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
