i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
