dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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