Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
