guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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