I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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