Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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