I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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