This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
