I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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