I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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