apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
