I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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