"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
