thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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