HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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