I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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