Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
