pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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