Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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