But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
this hospital has no fireball
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
