Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
