rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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