Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
