I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
