He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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