i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
