Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm like, not good at living.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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