why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
