I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
