It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he thought i was a dude.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
