i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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