Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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