Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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