My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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