I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize