she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
