Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
