So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
