Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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