hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
im on a boat
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