3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
