we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
false alarm, still single
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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