i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
