Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
