Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
