He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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