Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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