i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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