This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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