I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
