she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
