I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
