U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
