I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His nipple licking is glorious
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