I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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