Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
