Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
