My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize