I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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