i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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