I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Welp...herpes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
