Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
