I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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